I've questioned within myself for a long time now just what do I enjoy most about creating art? All I know for sure is...just like the quote above, I too become miserable the longer I'm taken away from my art. Although the final composition is my chief concern, how I arrive at the final form is what I enjoy most. Establishing values, creating different textures in depicting clothing, wood grain, grass, water, gradations of shadow and light are just a few of the base nuances that mean the most. Even the smell of linseed oil or other mediums or the simple feel of the brush against canvas or panel as I spread the buttery feel of paint or manipulating graphite or charcoal on paper bring me great joy.

I've always worked in a rather tight manner. I've attempted to loosen up in the past and utilize a more painterly approach but the ability seems to elude me. For some time, I've actually felt frustrated not being able to enter into that sort of style and I've felt as though I'll never find my niche.

Awhile back, I was accepted into a local atelier in Salt Lake City that teaches techniques in the classical realism tradition. I've never believed in reincarnation but when I first walked into the studio there, I experienced quite a lot of emotion after viewing the cast drawings and other finished figurative work displayed on the walls. It was as if someone inside me felt as though they had returned home. I was very excited to learn the traditions of the old masters but soon decided that the required discipline may be for a younger man. I believe in discipline being a former Marine. If this academy required great sacrifice to obtain the ability to replicate works with the finest in quality and tradition of the old masters - the costs would be well worth it.

  I had no problem with the thought of drawing only casts for the first couple of years before moving on to working from a live model. I had no difficulty in accepting the idea that I would progress to painting the figure in monochromatic grays for a time before moving on to color application. The idea of grinding my own oil paints and preparing my own supports set well with me also. No sooner did I start, family time constraints and other circumstances arose that would not allow me to continue. Maybe I can return someday. There are times that I feel as though I've waited too long and that it's too late for me to pursue such wonderful instruction.

Like the owner and atelier's chief instructor, I wish I’d had my priorities in line at an early age.  She absolutely knew what she wanted to achieve in her lifetime and kept her focus clear. I too wish I could've spent as many years as she had in Florence, Italy learning the wonderful techniques of the old masters. 

What started the fire burning within me to learn more in the area of classical realism was discovering a wonderful website known as the ArtRenewalCenter. Recently, I purchased a giclee on canvas titled "Mignon" by Bouguereau. I love studying this work. This is the quality and standard in art I can only hope to aspire to someday before I give up the ghost. Vermeer and Waterhouse are a couple of old masters, in addition to Bouguereau, that I admire so much. A few of my favorite living masters include Kamille Corry, Morgan Weistling and William Whitaker.